How to Squirt: The Real Guide

The Loch Ness Monster. Bigfoot. Female ejaculation.

All things that supposedly don't exist, right?

Wrong. Squirting is real, and while it might seem like some mythical sex act that only happens in porn, actual real women can and do squirt. The problem is that most information out there is either wildly inaccessible or makes it sound way more complicated than it needs to be.

So if you're curious about how to squirt, whether you want to make yourself squirt or you're trying to help a partner get there, this is what you need to know.

Understanding the Squirting Orgasm

First, the basics. A squirting orgasm happens when fluid is expelled from the urethra during sexual arousal or orgasm. That fluid comes from the urethral sponge (also called the female prostate or Skene's glands), and while there's been debate about what exactly it is, recent research shows it's not just pee. It's a combination of things, and honestly, who cares? It feels good and that's what matters.

Reality check: not every woman can squirt, and that's totally fine. Studies suggest somewhere between 10-50% of women have experienced squirting at some point. That's a huge range because honestly, research on this is limited and most of it relies on self-reporting. Some women squirt every time, some occasionally, and some never. All of these are completely normal.

The bigger point is this: squirting isn't the holy grail of orgasms. A squirting orgasm isn't automatically better than a regular orgasm. It's just different. So manage your expectations before you start. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, you can still have amazing sex and incredible orgasms.

Getting Your Mind Right Before Your Body Follows

Most squirting tips focus immediately on technique, but that's putting the cart before the horse. The physiological response of squirting starts in your brain, not your vagina. You need to be completely, thoroughly turned on before any amount of G-spot stimulation will work.

This means foreplay isn't optional. Build sexual tension slowly. Tease. Create anticipation. Pay attention to what feels good and lean into those sensations. Some women absolutely need to get to a proper mental space before they can allow themselves to let go and let pleasure take over them. Rushing through this part basically guarantees failure.

If you're working with a partner, they need to help you relax into arousal rather than treating this like a speedrun to orgasm. Talk about what turns you on. Communicate about what you need mentally and emotionally to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Trust matters because squirting requires letting go of control in a way that can feel scary or embarrassing if you're not comfortable.

When you're alone, self discovery helps you figure out what mental state you need to be in. Maybe you need to read something sexy first. Maybe you need music or a certain fantasy. Maybe you just need to know you have complete privacy and won't be interrupted. Figure out what gets your brain in the right space, because that's half the battle.

Creating the Right Space

Your environment matters a lot. Make sure the temperature is comfortable because being too cold or too hot will distract you from what you're trying to do. Create a space where you feel safe and relaxed. Lock the door if you need to. Turn off your phone. Do whatever helps you feel present moment focused.

The unsexy but necessary part: put down some blankets or towels. Squirting can be messy sex at its finest, and worrying about ruining your sheets will make it impossible to let go. Get a waterproof blanket or just layer some towels. Trust me, this is not optional.

If you're trying to squirt during sex with a partner, the ability to communicate openly is essential. You need to feel comfortable enough to give feedback, to say what feels good and what doesn't, and to let yourself be vulnerable. Holding back because you're worried about what your partner thinks will absolutely prevent this from happening.

The Physical Technique for How to Squirt

Once you're properly aroused and your mind is in the right place, now we get to the actual squirting tutorial part. The key involves stimulating the G-spot, which is located on the front wall of the vagina about 2-3 inches in. It has a rough texture compared to the rest of the vaginal wall, kind of spongy. That's your target.

The most effective fingering techniques use what's called the come hither motion. Insert one or two fingers (with lubrication, natural or added) and curl them upward like you're beckoning someone toward you. Apply firm, consistent pressure to that front wall. You're not being gentle here. This requires more pressure than you probably think.

Rhythm is crucial. Start slow to build arousal and increase blood flow to the area, then increase intensity. Most women need consistent, sustained stimulation to get there. Changing up the rhythm or stopping when you're close will kill the whole thing.

If you're using toys, a curved toy or wand massager works great because the angle naturally hits that front wall. Silicone toys are best because they're body-safe and easy to clean. Look for something with a curve or bulbous head that can apply pressure to those pleasure points.

What works best depends on personal preference and body awareness. Some women respond better to fingers because they can feel and adjust. Others prefer toys because they provide consistent pressure without hand fatigue. Experiment to find what works for you.

The Mental Game and Letting Go

The physiological response feels a lot like you need to pee. That sensation of pelvic pressure and the urge to pee is actually what you're aiming for. The instinct is to tense up your muscles and hold it in, but that's exactly what prevents squirting.

You have to do the opposite of what feels natural. Instead of holding back, you need to lean into that sensation. Some people describe it as bearing down or pushing out, like you're trying to pee. This is where the safe environment and trust really matter because your brain needs to believe it's okay to let go.

Stress and being too in your head will absolutely prevent this from happening. You can't force a squirting orgasm through sheer determination. It requires awareness of your body and being present in the sensory experience rather than thinking about whether it's working.

Many women have an easier time figuring out how to make themselves squirt when they're alone first, without the pressure of performing for a partner. Masturbation gives you the freedom to experiment, to learn what works, and to get comfortable with the sensations without worrying about someone else's experience.

Working With a Partner

If you're trying to squirt during sex with a partner, communication is everything. They need to read your nonverbal cues, watch your response, and adjust based on what your body is telling them. When something feels good, say so. "Right there" or "Keep doing that" gives them clear feedback.

Finding the right position takes experimentation. Some women find it easier when they're on their back with hips elevated. Others prefer being on all fours. Try different angles to find what works for finger or toy stimulation while also allowing you to relax.

Your partner's hand and finger placement make a difference. They might need to use their whole hand, not just their fingers, to apply enough pressure. The palm can press against the pubic mound while fingers work internally.

The edging technique can help build sexual tension. Getting close to orgasm, backing off, then building again can make the eventual release more intense and potentially trigger squirting. But again, this requires good communication and paying attention to boundaries and personal preference.

What to Actually Expect

When squirting happens, it might be a gush or it might be a trickle. Porn has seriously messed up people's expectations. Most women don't shoot fluid across the room like a garden hose. Female squirt can be anywhere from a tablespoon to a cup of fluid, and both are normal.

It might happen at orgasm, or it might happen before. Some women can squirt without having an orgasm at all. There's huge variation in how bodies respond.

The first time you squirt, you might not even realize it happened because you're so focused on other sensations. That's okay. The learning process takes time, and everybody is different. Have a positive attitude and enjoy the journey rather than fixating on the outcome.

When It's Not Happening

If you've tried these squirting tips and it's still not working, that's completely okay. Seriously. Not being a squirter doesn't mean you're broken or that you're doing something wrong. Some bodies just don't respond this way, and that has zero impact on how good sex can be.

Don't let the pursuit of squirting ruin the pleasure you're already having. If you're so focused on making it happen that you're not enjoying the sensations and sexual tension you're building, you're missing the point entirely.

Respect your body's boundaries and your personal preference. If trying to squirt is frustrating rather than fun, it's okay to just not prioritize it. Knowledge about your body and what brings you pleasure is way more valuable than achieving one specific type of orgasm.

The most important thing isn't whether you can squirt. It's whether you're having pleasurable, satisfying sexual experiences that make you feel good. If squirting happens along the way, cool. If not, you're not missing out on anything essential. Focus on what actually feels good to you, and let your body do its thing without pressure or expectations.